Creative Disconnection

I have been writing my chapter ten for the YA Breeze Series with not much issue until last night. I literally wrote everything I needed, a perfect cliff hanger ready to be set…when nothing happened. It wasn’t even like I blanked it, the scene was still floating in front of my eyes. I could hear the words that needed to be said and all the ground work has been laid out perfectly for the cliff hanger. So please explain to me why everything in my mind wouldn’t come out on paper.

Three separate ending attempts were made before I turned it all off and went to bed. This morning, I knew I was going to work on chapter eleven because chapter ten was pretty much complete. I reread the last few pages to get in the groove, tone, and character of getting the ending completed when once again, nothing would come out correctly.

Expressing my current mood/thoughts: anger, frustration, irritation, annoyance, and creative disconnection. With outline in hand, checking off each completed task has been a huge help but to this end my mind has gone into overload with colors, voices, expressions, emotions that my fingers simply can’t get right onto paper.

So I made a huge star and comments on the outline to go back, fix/work on it. However the ending that is sitting in it’s place is awful…I mean the kind of awful where a string of curses fly through my mind as I reread it and I’m mentally trying to punch it in the face. Yeah…that’s exactly where I am right now.

Attempting to move on to chapter eleven, forgetting the scene behind me but it’s difficult. The background music is no longer a help but a hindrance, TV will only distract me into being unproductive  and my brain is screaming at the top of it’s lungs ‘Get It Together!’.

At least I can be grateful that the creative juices are flowing. I just need a proper cup to fill up with.

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7 thoughts on “Creative Disconnection

  1. I’ve had that with a few chapter sections. If I can’t solve it after 10 attempts then I leave it for an editing run. It might be clearer as you read through everything.

  2. misskzebra says:

    I’ve similar experiences to this. It can be so tiring and frustrating, and it really causes me to doubt my ability as a writer.

    It’s especially annoying because it prevents me from moving on to other areas of the work that I’m really excited about.

    • mlnewman87 says:

      Exactly! It’s almost humorous that the next chapter is where the real fun lies for me. It was like cruel and unusual punishment, getting to the end only to not have it end properly and stop me from getting to the good part.

  3. I had an entire chapter that I thought was pretty good. Got round to editing it and it must have been one of the worst things I’ve ever written. I share your pain.

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